Craziness Stage

So I believe we all go through many stages in life.

Sometimes the same stage happens more than once in our lives.

Right now we are very much so going through the craziness stage. So many times when someone has come to me and told me about all the craziness in their lives I always say "It's life and you just have to live it." Right now at this moment I am having a hard time taking my own advice.

It just seems like it's never ending. Everything going on with Marcus is so overwelming for everyone. It seems like 1 minute things are going good and it's going to be back to normal and then boom when you least expect it something happens. I love this boy so much. I pray daily I am making the right decisions for him and loving him as I should. Always pleading God's blood over him for protection and God's consuming love over him for peace and guidance.

Right now we are also hanging by a thread over all this real estate stuff. As of right now I am NOT a fan of realtors. They are about as bad as car sales men.....if not worse. We have been working on our credit for some time now. It seems like no matter how much we work on it there is always something else there. Especially now with the medical bills. So we are just weeks away from being approved for a home loan. We moved in our current house with hopes to buy it. Now that we have been in it and see all the problems it has and some that we can't see, but have learned it has it's a constant battle on what's the best thing to do. We have moved soooo many times in our lives. We really didn't want to have to do it again. We hate moving the kids schools. They are even sick of moving.

Now we are haveing to sit through strangers coming through the house, while I am here with all the kiddo's, to decide if they want to buy it. I so badly want to point out all the flaws. One thing I have learned about Frank and I is that we are WAY to gullable. People just eat us right up and spit us out.

So many prayers and studying happening right now. Trying to take in all that I am suppose to. Needing guidance in every move I make to make the right decisions with finding our home, taking care of our kids, taking care of others babies, being a good wife and friend.

It's this little thing called life and we all must live it!

Here we go Again......

So I have been trying to decide weather or not to talk about all this sickness CRAP or not. I feel it is a part of my life right now, it's a huge struggle, but something I need support and prayer about, so here it all is.

Iam actually a little frightened this go round. I know whatever is to happen will happen. I am in God's hands always.

Now all my life I have had a sensitive stomach so I called it. A little over 2 years ago I started having have big problems with my stomach. Had all kinds of wonderful expensive tests ran, and when I say lots I mean lots by 2 different specialist. In the end it came down to I have Gilbert’s disease, which makes me turn jaundice, and ended up taking Nexium for 3 months when the symptoms finally eased. They also decided that my stomach doesn't digest food quiet as fast as it should so therefore I have to watch what I eat and can't take ANY pill form of vitamin. My stomach gets irritated VERY easily b/c the food or what ever sits there too long.

So it's been a little over 2 years and a few weeks ago I thought I had the same stomach flu that everyone else in NWA had. But then it didn't go away and so after a week of it and dizziness so bad I couldn't walk I finally went to the Dr. They thought I had a bacterial infection in my stomach. After coming home and talking to Frank about everything we realized it was the same thing hitting me again, after 2 years.

This time there are more symptoms and they are a lot more severe than they were before. I have since been to the Dr. 3 times in 2 weeks, had blood tests 3 times, among some other not so fun tests, x-rays, and an ultrasound. All for a huge amoung of $, just so they could tell me they don't know it's something beyond what they can do. So I have to go back to the specialist and have some of the same test done all over again.

I am a little frustrated this go round if you couldn't tell. Throughout my life I have been sick a lot. The only times I was actually really healthy is when I am pregnant. Since I had my last baby I told Frank I don't want to get sick any more, I want to get healthy. Exercise and eat right.
This sickness comes and goes as it pleases. Some days I feel fine like nothing is wrong, other days I can't get off the floor b/c I am so lathargic. I HATE it. I don't have the time, patience, money or stomach for it. <-- Ha Ha stomach for it.

Anyways, that's my rant about it. There isn't very good outcomes for what all this leads too, so I am very frustrated with my body. I know God is in control, he is my healer and I give it to him daily. Just today and many days I need to rant.